In a pineapple under the sea

After doing some groceries shopping (again!) today at the centre, me and durra decided to chill out somewhere before we return to our castle towers and retreat to our usual boredom syndrome. Alas, we chose to hang out at Gloria Jeans@ Borders to make our lepaking hours more productive (hence the fact that we could browse through magazines and books while we take a sip). Plus the newly acquired knowledge that Starbucks Coffee may not be the best choice for leisure after all, we made a nodded agreement to plunge into the coffee joint and get something that doesn’t involve caffeine (especially mocha) for Durra~ i know… weird right?? You go to a coffee shop and you make sure that you don’t have coffee… durra bora-bora~

So, after ordering my Chocolate Mudslide Mocha (that probably has the cholestrole level that equals to 3 sausages), we took a magazine that was lying on the side of our table and it was (luckily) the Donna Hay’s 10 Minutes Meal Guide. It was as if God was saying "Gourmet Dining at your finger tips, now is the time to learn and practice"… okay, maybe that’s an overstatement from me but still the both of us ended up studying the recipes diligently and were giving a deep, serious thought into choosing the ones that we could both enjoy cooking and eating…

And guess what, I copied about 4 recipes into my phone notebook and all the time, was ensuring that we remembered the steps and procedures accordingly, should I forget the bits and parts of it. Imagine two females selecting and scrutinising recipes on a Friday afternoon at a coffee shop… then i realise, Damn, I’m Old! hahahaha… Previously, we even talked about serving these spectacular chicken baked with spinach, tomatoes and mozarella or my favourite, ricotta and parmesan chicken with lemon butter and brocollini to our future guests at our home. And that should be when/after  we get married! Gosh… have we really come a long way??? My last reality check still confirms to me that I’m young although I do not have the privilege to be called a teenager anymore.. (sad case, man!)… so, there goes a two hour session with durra today with result of her buying Good Ideas while Timothy was in charge at the counter… who’s timothy?? ask durra…

In another episode, I had a rather different yet appealing coffee session at the exact coffee joint. That time, it was with Syada when we were the only one left in the village and we were supposedly on a mission to search for a sleeping bed (which i managed to purchase for a staggering cheap price of $20 only…) I remembered having so much fun and actually quite relieved to be able to tell syada things that i’ve pressured to keep only to myself. For example, how happy i was at that moment (and i still am), how i perceived my academic performance drive was going like here in Macquarie University and how life has changed quite drastically since i moved here… You know, things that you wouldn’t know if people are interested to give a thought about.

But a cuppa and the pleasing environment, where you are surrounded with so many people yet so many unfamiliarity and nonchalance about each other’s existence except for the person you’re currently talking to, did give me a sense of urgency and security to actually express my concern over how i saw life now and I was glad that Syada talked to me while we go through our thoughts. It was a simple conversation, yes it was… But it gave me a enthralling grip back on my mind as i cleared the fuzzy edges that were threatening my reality even without me realising it.

And that session also took an exact two hours like the other… Two different friends, two different realisation, two different views poised in or into my life… Sometimes, we need to discover the simple things in life just to be able to see the bigger picture that acts as a tapestry of emotions and complications in multiple relays of relationships. Guess there’s more coffee to come…

just got back from a week of holiday in Melbourne… damn, the food was great (i need to highlight that first) and having the opportunity to experience this journey with a bunch of wacky friends made the holiday even better…

with the usual suspects, tasha, durra, nisa and syada, we started our journey at 8.40pm, 11 july with an eleven hour train ride (huhu… sakit pinggang)… kononnya nak makan2 and stay up the whole night ler… alih-alih, the first hour, semua orang dah tidur sakan. I was particularly lucky because i got two seats to myself (hullo!)

Since reaching melbourne the next morning, the food galore just never ended. From the crispy tosai in Bismi to the marvellous nasi lemak rendang at Changi to the superb kuay teow goreng seafood in Es Teler. Had the best ice cream i ever tasted at Lygon Street and also the unforgettable belgian waffle (mikado?? nutella?? haha.. abang waffle bercakap French yang sexy bangat)… And finally, we found a MNG store (cambest). Huhu.. the things i trully missed about the city is definitely those makan-makan session with friends at halal food places and the pool sessions (terima kasih sifoo shim).

But the most profound experience was of course the trip to Great Ocean Road… Although serious nak muntah along the whole journey, it was a spectacular sight when we finally reached the Twelve Apostles… You can’t help but to say "Allahu Akbar" when you look at those rock formations and realising that you’re just a tiny human being in this world. And even though i was a mess (hence the rambut antenna syndrome) and we keep losing our friends at the stops (itulah syada… jangan jalan jauh2 dari kitaorg… nasib baik tak salah bus… plus the fact that "sometimes people don’t realise that the wave is coming for them when they’re snapping pictures"… cuak kan?), the experience was a one in a lifetime opportunity and i’m glad we took it.

Plus the travel guide, Geoff was a veryyyyyyy nice old chap who gave us a lot of trivias (did u know that Australia didn’t have any rabbit until the 1800s when a English businessman brought 24 rabbits in for his hunting leisure?? Apparently, some managed to escape his gun and now there’s millions of rabbits in Australia.. aha!). Haaaaa…. imagine if we still went on with the idea of following a Chinese tour guide because it’s cheaper, mesti tak dapat apa-apa information pun (haha!). And to add, there was this really cute "salam namaste" minor from Canada who was travelling with his family… hurrrmmmm.. eye candy…

so after 6 days and 633 pictures taken, we finally head back home after managing to jelajah seluruh pelusuk Melbourne with the help from Diana, Syafiq, Nadia and Nabilah… in short, i had a great time and looking forward to finish the coming break in spring to go to Gold Coast (insya allah… kalau ada ongkos). Although i feel that i have gone papa kedana from the trip (imagine a plate of nasi is $6.50 and a teh tarik is $2.50), i’m satisfied with it and will probably head back there in the future… hopefully, not alone : )

When i say that you give me butterflies, you really do… when i say that i can’t stop thinking about you, i really can’t… when i say that i miss you, i really do… when i say that you make me warm in the rain with your voice, you really do… God granted human being with emotions and affection, making them, above all, unique and sensible… I thank God that I found you and I thank God again for making you see me the way i do… Life is beautiful… alhamdullilah

I’ve been doing a lot of jogging in the past few weeks in order to maintain my fitness (ewah) as i realised that i went pancit only after playing futsal for barely 15 minutes and plus, i’ve gain some weight (yes, people…. i did).

And my partner in crime is none other than Syada. I bug her every evening, asking her if she’s interested in a jog, sampai akhirnya jadi cam rutin… Even kalau puasa pun, nak jog juge… Simply because i enjoy the sight seeing and the new places that we discover every single day. I didn’t know that the MUSR recreational park had one oval, a futsal filed, a football field, a NRL field and so on… I didn’t know that the houses at waterloo park are actually that beautiful and designed for the niche market. I didn’t realise that the university lake looked really serene in the evenings…

Having done the sessions, i could actually see myself doing it everyday without feeling bored…well, at least it’s productive rather than just lazing around in the evenings playing Need For Speed or FowlWords. Although i hate to bump into dogs (serious, i’m dead scared of dogs… even if they’re chiuhuaha on a leash), i still take the time every evening to explore the different routes that are available here… The best part would be the ability to talk and laugh at ourselves while running, kan Syada?

insya allah, i’ll be able to play futsal for 30 minutes again without pancit… huhu. And enjoy the distance that i’ll run through in the evenings, without worrying about my speed…

Have you ever came across a Malaysian who genuinely doesn’t like the taste of a nice warm teh tarik??? Not that they can’t consume it but they just don’t like it??? Hurmmm… they exist but they are a very rare species indeed. Just like the rare species of people who doesn’t fancy being in love. Well of course, teh tarik, like love, is everywhere and found at every corner of the Malaysian land yet they are also getting overshadowed by the emergence of lattes and mochas… But does it mean that it is getting less significant in our lives or the other alternatives are just options to forsake something that’s always been in our blood??

Notice that a cuppa teh tarik goes anytime in a daily basis, be it for breakfast to start your day or for a late nite supper with friends after battling it up in a futsal game. It never goes wrong on your taste buds and it will never burn your tongue too (hence the purpose of tariking it, get it?)… Hurmm, but in some cases, the mamak will accidently (ye ke?) give you a glass that is either too hot or too cold. Having ordered it already and not wanting to be fussy, you patiently wait the hot one to cool down or just gulp down the cold one with frustration in your heart going "damn, i should’ve gone to the other joint instead of this one… kenapalah aku ikut depa nie ha?"… Is it a wrong choice made or it’s just pure poor luck that you have to settle down with that glass? Of course there is a choice of exchanging the glass for another one and crossing your fingers that the mamak doesn’t do something nasty to your new glass… Dare? Then you swear to yourself that you’ll never order another teh tarik when you join the same crowd here. More extreme, never to set your foot there again and spread the word of "wisdom" about the joint for the crime of offending the art of making teh tarik

On a different scope, do me a favor by choosing a food that goes wrong with teh tarik… Almost none, i reckon. Even a risotto tastes incredibly delicious matched with teh tarik… That’s how flexible it is. Yet it definitely has one food that is THE match for your personal taste, be it a plate of maggi goreng or a puffed crispy roti canai. Just like the case where every other mamak joint or a five star hotel offers a variety taste of teh tarik that is up to your choice to covet for. Can you stand enjoying a glass of wonderfully blended teh tarik alternated with the stench of smoke from automobiles at the road stall that has rodents playing hide and seek around it or would you rather compromise the taste for a simpler one served at an air-conditioned restaurant… Again, the choice is entirely yours to make and having made it, yeah, you can change it anytime you like but the question to ponder upon then is whether you can face the change and relive the taste as you once had.

And teh tarik is all about balance and getting the distinction that naturally separates it in its own class… You have to get the bitterness and sweetness well seamed that you can’t tell what’s so special about it yet it is so significant to be programmed as the best in your brain… The next thing you know, you’ll be coming around every now and then, fetching for the same cup, savouring over it as if it is, indeed, the pleasure like no other God has granted to give you on Earth. And when you get the wrong cup that either is too sweet or too bitter for you, you’ll shake your head and say "uh uh.. that ain’t my cup of tea" literally. And when you had too many of the wrong ones, you’ll then just give up and switch to a glass of OJ instead all the time… Imagine if that goes wrong too…Yup, life can be more surprising than we’d ever thought before, ain’t it? Plus, teh tarik can also go wrong for people who are on diet who will soon have to discover that the teh tariks they had just helped to lower their metabolisme rate…

On many angles, teh tarik, like love, can be foreseen as a passion that makes you ride high and low. For some even, it’s the love-hate realtionship. You can’t stand it when it’s around and it gives you terrible migraine too. But you long for it when you haven’t been igniting your senses with its strong and sensuous sting for a while. It makes you make the hard decisions in life and it also suggests that life can be more than just half the glass if you tried hard enough to search for it and sacrifice along the way while you’re at it… Just keep in mind that you can never have too much of teh tariks in your life… and so applies about love.

This is the first Mother’s Day that I will not be celebrating with you. I just thought I wanted to say these things to you…

I’m sorry for making you carry me around for 9 months and after that making you have access weight (not that you have it pun)… I’m sorry for throwing up on you the first time you feed me… I’m sorry for throwing those tantrums all night that I disturbed your dreams… I’m sorry for making you stay all night long when I had those fevers… I’m sorry for making you chase me around the house when I first knew how to take those steps… I’m sorry for scraping my knees and crying out loud at you when it was my fault all along… I’m sorry for making you have headaches with my wailings when daddy goes to work… I’m sorry for making you spend so much money on me… I’m sorry for making you put up with my stubborness when I WANT those toys… I’m sorry for making you spend hours trying to get me to complete those homeworks… I’m sorry for making you come to school to see me receive those prizes (ok, i’m not really sorry for that)… I’m sorry for making you become the volunteer for my PBSM in primary school… I’m sorry for making you sign those permission letters saying that "my daughter have allergies that makes her prone to diseases when she goes to camps"… I’m sorry for making you write those letters saying that "my daughter was sick yesterday, so bad that she couldn’t attend classes" when I was actually lazy to see my teachers… I’m sorry for always saying I need those things when I just simply want it… I’m sorry for making you bring me to all those concerts when you had better things to do… I’m sorry for playing Boyz II Men and VE all the time in my room……….. I’m sorry for sometimes not prioritising our family over someone who have just came into my life… I’m sorry for staying out late at night with friends when I had the HBO date with you… I’m sorry for always disagreeing with Anu and Sany… I’m sorry for always calling you up when I had problems of my own… I’m sorry for making you sad whenever I did… I’m sorry for keeping you locked away from my secrets (I still do have secrets)… I’m sorry when I kept you in the dark about my sorrow… I’m sorry for keeping you wait for me to come around and say that I’m sorry for all the things I’ve done when I could have avoided doing those mistakes in the first place…

God knows how glad I am for being your daughter… For all that and more, Thank You.

What does happiness mean to you??? Do you feel happy right now??? How about yesterday??? You think you’d be happy tomorrow?? Let’s look at some take on happiness…

The thing about happiness is it is so subjective… it depends on how you look upon life and things. Some people say that money can’t buy happiness. Well, that is only true to a limited extent. If materialism does somehow give you a satisfaction inside and contributes to your self esteem (how ever well you experience it), it is an indication that you’re happy enough for that particular moment in your life. For me, it is exactly the same as another person who seek happiness by growing plants at their backyard or watching their children mature to be a better person. Having said that, note that human are entirely different from one another and what you do could also affect the happiness of others. For example; telling people to do only what you like and prefer might result in a conflict in your relationship. A dictatorship that dictates one right way to do things also results in unhappiness to some, if not to many.

You ask what makes us different in our approach to  happiness?? Your perception towards happiness relies on your gene factors, some people are just born glum as others are born cheerful enough to laugh at their own misery. That applies to about 30-50% on your take towards happiness. The other element that effects your happiness is your concerns and view of life… The choices you make in how you wish to perceive life is particularly important in influencing the happiness degree in your life. This feature could be enhanced and is entirely within your control. This is what exactly being taught in the Happiness Institutes around the world and it is becoming increasingly crucial to attain. This is especially due to the fact that in the current modern world that we’re living in, there isn’t really  room for self-realisation if we’re not exposed to it in a wider scale. We need to be educated about happiness and the way to achieve it, even if it means going through a specific course about it.

Another thing about happiness is that if you try too hard to make yourself happy, there is a clear chance that you won’t feel happy at all. Now, try to look back at some of the happiest moments of your life… How many percent of it was spontaneous?? Nearly 75%?? Right… The philosophers of the hedonistic school of thought (mind you, stop associating hedonism with absolute ignorance on spirituality) implies that human feel the ultimate bliss when you pause for a second and try to reflect whether you’ve been happy doing the things you’ve been doing without planning the exact locus of happiness that you were supposed to feel.

That’s happiness for you… It’s controllable, achievable and retrievable… Try to indulge yourself in things that you love to do and stop presurring yourself (and people around you) to work according to plans all the time… Be optimistic in life, see the brighter side of things and be thankful for all the wonderful things you have in life. Then, maybe you will see that happiness comes in various shades and it does serve as a clear purpose of life… Chalo

For you, whom I dearly remember and say a prayer for every night before I sleep…

malam ini kasih, teringat aku padamu, seakan kau hadir di sisi menemaniku, kuyakinkan diri agar tiada sepi, kulewati, kau hadir di dalam mimpiku…

seandainya mungkin, ku mampu terbang ke awan, malam ini jua ku akan melayang ke sana, kan ku bawa pulang dirimu yang selalu kusayang, bersama berdua, kita bahagia….

kasih, dengarlah, hatiku berkata, aku cinta kepada dirimu sayang, kasih, percayalah kepada diriku, hidup matiku hanya untukmu…

* Listening to my mum’s indigeneous on-going lecture about how the world is so much a different place compared to 20 years ago and how lucky I am to be her daughter before I leave home (ye, maaaa…. memang I’m lucky to be your daughter :p)

*Quarelling with my 7 year old sister…. "Fifi, kalau dah besar nanti nak jadi apa??? Apeeeee???? Jadi penyanyi?????" After an assumingly looonnnngggg gaze "Aaaaaa…. pandai pun, jadi Arkitek ok???"…. "Why don’t you want this t-shirt??? What, U want the Guess one instead??? Tolong ye, even your 20 year old sister is not that high maintanance"… and it goes on and on and on…

*Hearing the blissfully husky voice of my brother singing a Peter Pan song late at nite, strumming his guitar… he doesn’t know that I actually listen intently each time from my room.

*My room and my lil big house

*My significance in the place where I grew up.

*Cuddling Icha and Asha while watching tv… Laughing to the clumsy acts of Aben. Teasing Aidid each time he does the funny dance and wails an unscribbled string of words.

*The monthly reunion with family members, cousins n the makan2. Miss everybody in Subang, Kuang and Kajang…

*The must-have reunion with circles of friends who are on holiday all night long. To see them after a few months and catch up on old times. People, you know who you are…

*The cheap smsing syndrome… Owhhhhh, i used to send scores even hundreds of messages per day (^wink^ ^wink^ Nina)

*Talking about music (or everything else) with Shah… food for the soul

*The Heart-to-Heart session with Carey

*The routine journey every Friday to go back home and back to IPBA every Sunday. Each journey requires 2 hours and 2 bus rides. The time to ponder upon life and realise how lonely you can be in a crowd of people. The pilgrimage to self-realisation…

*The movie marathons— lepas KLCC, kita gi Times Square—

*Secret Recipe!!!!!!!!.

*Going out to the Mamaks around the city…. Testing the maggi gorengs in each and decide which one is the best (benchmarking is very crucial… muahaha)

*Goreng Pisang Makcik Shell, Popia Basah Taman Putra n Kuih Bakar Taman Melor

*Anjung Scud’s marvellous Nasi Goreng Kampung

*The opportunity n ability to eat whatever I want whenever I want wherever I want (desires……..)

*The shopping sprees (not that I don’t have it here, it’s just… different. Xde size, kena beli kat kids department).

*Watching William Quah and Ally Iskandar earrrrrrrrrrrly in the morning.

*The Hitz Morning Crew—— a bunch of wacky people——

* The telenovelas and dramas in IPBA…

*The television series in Malaysia (ie A-Ha, KLites etc)

*The Futsal Games n the paintball maze…. ^wey, balik Malaysia, kita main ek??? Kat sini, mahal giler^

*Good Malay Movies (ie P. Ramlee, darn… I should’ve brought some here)

*The R&B gigs… The weekly musical affairs around KL.

*Malay songs, be it bad or good (at least, I listen :P)

*The clubs in Malaysia… Although I once thought I’d never miss it.

This question, i think, is one of the most frequent question I ask myself all the time… Can’t a guy and a girl be friends??? Just normal friends…. you know like a guy is friends with another guy and vice versa. Why is it so hard for people to accept the fact that guys and girls can, in fact and of course, be normal friends? All right, first get this… Not all relationship between a male and a female will end romantically coz you know, chemistry happens in different ways… You don’t expect the same result of mixing natrium bikarbonat and sulphur as when you mix, i don’t know, like ammonium and nitric acid… You get what I trying to say here??? Well, my point is that why should you butt in people’s social life and try to tell them what’s right or wrong… cause it’s not fair. it’s not fair for the person you’re judging and also on yourself. If you’re trying to tell someone that "no, you can’t be friends with him/her anymore cause that’s just not normal", then try to look back on yourself and ask "how about me? are some of my best friends from the opposite gender?"… Found the answer? Like it?

Especially Girlfriends n Boyfriends!!! I mean, how can you know for sure that when a girl knows almost everything about her guy friend, there must be something sneaky going on??? Some of the people I personally know (if you know what I’m saying) had to make sacrifices just to conform with the norm of the society or rather to satisfy their partner. Gimme a break! Sometimes I wonder how people can be so defensive over what they already have and what they believe in… Tolerance is one of the beauty that unites human and jealousy is the cause of the first murder in the world. You see, nothing in this world is truly yours… Nope, not even your body and soul (if you’re wondering why, well, because it belongs to God). You share your parents with your siblings, you share your school with your friends, you share your knowledge with the people around you… Nothing is entirely yours… That’s one thing for sure… Although it’s arguable that there could be a hidden motive behind a few friendships, why punish the whole lot?????

Remember, if you are or might be the reason that a friendship ends today, you don’t really know the person you’ve just "adviced" to end that relationship. Cause what that could have been an empire today, has collapsed into a ruin…